Yesterday in the late afternoon, one of Tori's little friends and her mom dropped by to drop off a birthday gift. I don't know the mom well, but she always looks very well-put-together. (In fact, I keep feeling tempted to copy her short hairstyle.) As I was talking, and after she left, I took a good look at what she saw: Tori and Jonah were still in their pajamas, with red spots on the front from our spaghetti lunch. I was in a shirt that is not a maternity shirt and which looked goofy with my choice of pants. My hair was not styled and I had no make-up on. I looked like I had just woken up. I had laundry piled on the chair. (In my defense there, I have no laundry room, so sometimes I bring it out where I can fold it near the kids.) We had spent a good part of the day playing pet shop in "cages" so the living room was filled with chairs and blankets and there were library books scattered around. And the kitchen table was still covered with our lunch dishes. And we've spent so much time on the garden, that our front yard continues to look like a good candidate for a makeover from one of those home shows. I thought after, that even the most generous, charitable person could not have an encounter with me at my home and think, "Now that woman really has it together." No, they would be forced to think that I have some major issues that perhaps only a corp of trained professionals could solve after months of work and counseling. I guess it's time for some resolutions and another visit to that horrible "fly lady" cleaning website.
On a positive note regarding all of that, I have been blessed with an incredibly loving, supportive husband who never complains about me or the house. (Even when I've gained an inordinate amount of weight during a pregnancy.) And my kids look pretty darn cute, even if they are in pajamas later than is proper. Maybe when the kids are all in school, and I pull it together again, I'll move somewhere far away and start over, creating a new image with people who will assume I've always been that way.
4 comments:
And look how smart and good and clever your kids are. I know you always say I keep things nice, but we have one fancy neighbor who always has everything perfect and the three times she has stopped at my door for some reason, I have had bags of junk on the porch and our front closet open spilling out coats and shoes and umbrellas and toys scattered all over the living room. There is no way to win the image battle especially when, with you, I always just feel guilty about what a fun and amazing mom you are compared to most of us! Besides, what am I saying, no one could know you and not see what an intelligent amazing person you are.
Marnie, I love a messy house...it makes me feel better about mine! And all of your messes are just because you are a fantastic mom...feeding your kids, playing games with your kids, doing laundry etc. But I do know what you mean with being embarrassed when there is an unannounced visitor. I usually don't mind a mess until someone else comes over, and then I get self-conscious about most everything. Anyway, I ditto Nancy- you are possibly the funnest mom I know, and all of those "put together" moms probably have no fun at all!
Marnie...apparently you haven't stopped by my house unannounced, like I have to yours (and I'm so sorry about that). If you did you would often find a similar scenario. I'm glad I'm not a lone in these years of disarray. I think all to often that I should be playing more with my children than cleaning. I honestly think you'll NEVER look back and regret having spent more time cleaning. No one says, "Oh, I wish I had cleaner toilets" instead of "Oh wish I hadn't read those stories to the kids today!"
I don't know if that makes sense, but we love YOU for you....and I personally could not balance what you have on your plate right now. I think you're amazing!
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I always see you spending time with your kids, doing fun things. That is the stuff they will remember not if your house was spotless or not. The older the kids get the easier it will be because they can help. Now is the time to focus on the kids before they get too old and don't want to play pet shop.
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