The Rest of the Story....with a tangent

Well, let this be a lesson to you all.  Don't announce your pregnancy until after the first trimester.  This is week ten, and if I could have waited just a little longer, I could have avoided this announcement.  But here's the end result:

I started spotting last Thur.  (So, really, that was when we did our serious grieving.  We knew there was still a chance that the baby was OK, but it didn't seem likely.)  We went on the ward temple trip to Washington DC Fri. and Sat.  I decided not to go to the doctor until after that, so I wouldn't mess up our fun mini-trip.  Going to the temple was really helpful.  John and I took turns going. We also went to the National Zoo and loved it.  We had hoped to squeeze in the Museum of Nat. History again, but it just didn't happen.

Well, hey, let's throw in some happy pictures before we get to the sad stuff.  (But you can skip the pictures, if you'd like.)

Got a good deal on a hotel near the temple. It had the requisite indoor pool.



John being funny.

And again. :)  We couldn't see the seals anywhere here - they were above, resting.

Seeing the beavers get fed was fun.  We couldn't tear Tori away.

I was in more pictures this time!

Eli in the butterfly area.  Tori was the most patient and still, but was never rewarded with a butterfly landing.

 Now, back to business.  We got home late Sat. night, and went to church Sunday.  During Sacrament Mtg.  I realized I needed to quickly get to the bathroom.  Unfortunately, the bathroom couldn't be further from the chapel.  I horrified a teenager and little girl as I went running past, leaving a trail of blood.  I am so grateful to all of the sweet people that cleaned up in the hall and bathroom.  Allison Harding was an absolute life-saver.  She kept running to her car to get things we needed, and she convinced me to let John take me to the emergency room.  John had his swimsuit in the van, so I wore that, and I was quite a sight.  While we were at the hospital, Allison kept the kids at church and then drove them to Jeri DeSisto's house.  Jeri kept them for quite some time and fed them (even though her mom is in town for a visit).  Bro. Harding later drove John back to the church to get our van, and the Hardings sent us their Sunday dinner.  The DeSistos also sent dinner.  It was so nice to know the kids were being well cared for.  I was so touched.

At the hospital, they did some tests including an ultrasound.  I wasn't surprised to hear that the baby was gone, but it was still hard.  I feel so bad for John and the kids.  We were all so excited!  I hope the Burnetts have a boy, because I have some cute little baby boy outfits that I couldn't resist buying at clearance sales.

John has been so incredibly sweet with me during all of this.  One of my favorite memories of this hard time will always be the way John has taken care of me.  He has been so solicitous and anxious to make me comfortable.  And although this is certainly just as hard for him, he only seems to be worried about me.  The kids have also been very sweet.  Eli made breakfast in bed for me this morning.  (The other kids woke up later and made me promise to get back in bed for lunch.)  As I ate, Maggie kept whispering things like, "You're the best mom I've ever had!" in my ear.

Before I leave this topic, I want to record some cute things the kids have said before about having the baby.

-Tori said that next year would be the best year for three reasons:  We would have the baby, we would go to Utah to see family, and.....the Super Walmart would be finished.  (And really, how can we be sad now when the Super Walmart still seems to be coming along nicely?)

-When we told the kids I was pregnant, they wanted to know if they could tell people.  I said that maybe we should wait a while more.  Eli asked if he could say that his mom might be having a baby.  (My mom may or may not be having a baby.  That wouldn't give anything away.)

-One morning Maggie woke up out of sorts and was crying for no reason.  However, she later said, "I was just crying because I'm so happy that the baby's going to be born."

-I got up to bear my testimony in church a couple of weeks ago, and Jonah asked John if I was going to tell them I was pregnant.  He later asked me why I didn't. :)

I don't know what the future holds.  I kind of feel like we had the baby we were meant to have.  But I sure liked the idea of having a baby here with us.  We'll see.  If you don't mind, I'd just as soon not talk about it much.  I'm really doing just fine.